Depression and the Ministry

My daughter Callie is a student at Covenant College. Last week she wrote a paper on a person in ministry who deals with a disability. Callie chose me. My disability is depression and anxiety. She sent me three questions to answer.

1) How does your faith change the way you interact with your depression?
I believe that dependency on Christ is the essence of Christian faith. In other words, Christians are in a trusting union with Christ and, apart from this union, they can’t do anything to help themselves or anyone else. But, just because I believe this intellectually does not mean that I yield to it easily. I suffer with depression and anxiety. Depression is a weird sort of disability. It’s the kind of thing that has crippled me in an invisible way. Others aren’t able to see it. For years I wanted to believe that I was OK. That I could build enough emotional ‘muscle’ to overcome depression. I tried to use Christ improperly to build this muscle. Maybe if I prayed enough or read the Bible enough or worked enough or toughened myself enough or performed enough – the depression would go away. It didn’t. It has taken me a long time to understand that Christ planned to ‘cripple me’ with depression in order to humble me and love me. And like a Christian man with two paralyzed legs has to grow accustomed to loving Christ from a wheel chair, I am having to grow accustomed to loving Christ from the constrictions of medication and an adjusted lifestyle. I used to feel that Christ would help me conquer depression once and for all. This would work for a little while. But when depression would cripple me I would feel abandoned by Christ. Now I am learning that Christ is using depression to conquer my self-sufficiency, my pride, and my shame.

Callie Melton’s Gospel Story

The following is a recording of a testimony given by our daughter Callie to Surfside PCA’s Youth Group on August 15, 2013.

A Symbol for my Life: A Dance around the Cross

Someone recently asked me, “Tim, if you were to choose a symbol for your life, what would it be and why?”

This is the symbol I would use.  Christ has taken residence at the center of my life.  The grace of God, through the gospel, is what empowers my life.  This grace is leading me to a maturing dependence on Christ as my Lord and Savior.  The ultimate aim that Christ has for my life is not personal perfection or external compliance or communal belonging.  The aim is Christ dependence.  This Christ dependence is expressed through repentance and faith.   Repentance and faith (continually coming back to the Gospel) produces a Christ-likeness that is matured in my affections, my understanding, and my obedience.  My life is being tailored by the Spirit of God to be a dance around the cross.  The Spirit will continue this work of grace until at last I behold my Savior face to face.

“The Hike” by Camp Melton

“The Hike” by Camp Melton

I don’t do a lot of hiking.  In fact, I have only gone a few times, but I like it a lot.  This week I’m going hiking with my dad. We are in Asheville, North Carolina at a Young Life camp called Windy Gap. It is a beautiful place, nestled in a valley up in the Smoky Mountains. It is one of the first times in years that my family is on vacation with no worries and no distractions.  I have my family all to myself.  My Dad has been saying that we are all going to hike up to a place called Pioneer Plunge. It’s a very long hike, moving uphill the entire way. My Mom and sister are not enthusiastic. The day of the hike arrives and my Dad decides that he is going to go alone if none of us want to go with him. I hastily volunteer to tag along. He has been teaching me the whole week to use my gifts of tenacity and determination, and so I decide that this is the perfect opportunity to put those gifts to work.

We start along the trail.  Early on I think to myself that this will be easy.  I have no idea that it is a 5-mile hike and the path is steeper than I thought it would be.  About halfway through, I am feeling the burn. I can tell my dad is too.  I keep telling myself to put one foot in front of the other. I can’t start complaining; I don’t want to be a wimp. We both push ourselves and eventually we make it. Pioneer Plunge is an actual rustic settlement.  It has four cabins and everything is built from natural resources. My Dad is showing me all the old architecture, the bathhouse, the way they keep their food cold, and the way the mountain stream feeds into the pond. I can’t really focus on anything but that pond. I am so thirsty and my Dad tells me that the water is safe to drink.

He lays down in a hammock to rest.  My thirst is getting the better of me. I run as fast as my weak legs can take me and start gulping down the fresh water in the lake. Finally refreshed I turn to see my dad sidling towards me.

“I dare you to jump in there naked,” He says. I chuckle and he starts to smile.
“I will if you will.” I reply.
“Okay,” he said.
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, why not?”
We both start roaring with laughter.  My dad will never cease to surprise me.

Dressed in nothing more than what we were born with, we quickly realize that the water is colder than we thought.

Birthday at Brookgreen

I had a great birthday today.  Martha Jo and I went to Brookgreen Gardens in Murrel’s Inlet.  Brookgreen is beautiful – nature, art, poetry, gardens.  Just a gorgeous place.  And I was able to enjoy it with my favorite person in the whole world.  It couldn’t get any better.  When we were there together, MJ gave me a card that was so cool.  She wrote:

You were handmade.
With the utmost care and attention
Designed with careful detail
With purpose and plan
Every circumstance that has taken place
Has been contrived and redeemed
Nothing in your life Has been wasted!
Every quality that Christ has placed in you
Is both necessary and needed
Every grace lavished on you
Has been for His delight and glory
That the Lord would see fit to make someone like you
Strong, smart, seasoned, insightful, intuitive
Tender, funny, delightful, demonstrative
Curious, creative, courageous
A communicator, committed
Responsive to Jesus –
And that He would give you to me
This is amazing, astounding, and
The best birthday present
I have ever been given!

Happy Birthday Mel, I love you!!!

Martha Jo, you are such a wonderful blessing.  Thanks for giving me a great day.  I love you!

Tribute to James Yon

James, in his dressed blues, with his wife Laura

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As many of you know, I have spent a great deal of my professional career in youth ministry.  Several years ago, I had a kid in my group named James Yon.  James has always had a zest for life.  Everything he does, he goes full out, full on, head first, and eyes closed.  He was always the greatest kid to have on youth trips and events, because James always brought the happy with him.  You didn’t have to worry about an event being boring.  If James was there, it didn’t matter what you were doing, it was going to be an adventure.  Several years ago James joined the Marine Corp to help defend our country.  Needless to say, I was worried about him.  How would he do?  Would he be okay?  I just loved the guy so much, I couldn’t bear to think about something bad happening to him.  I knew he would be brave.  There was no doubt about that.

Morning Prayer – Identifying with the suffering of others

Many of you are aware of my recent bout with kidney stones.  The stones emerged last week, the day before Easter, when I prayed that Christ would allow me to identify with Him in the suffering of his passion.  Eleven days later, on Monday night, I again went to bed in pain.  The week has been a blur; every day with intermittent fever and the enduring the grip of sometimes nagging, sometimes crippling pain.  Every night, shuffling off to bed, half asleep – half awake, while little knives stabbed into my lower back.  Every morning waking up at 4 am, an invisible zombie eating into my kidney.  Monday night was no exception.  Before going to bed, I thought to myself, “What would it be like to live with this pain the rest of my life – to know that every day would be a battle against physical misery?  There must be so many in the world who do.”

Kidney Stone(s) Update – Tim Melton

A ball and a book. Somehow, it works.

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Many of you have been asking about where I am in regard to my kidney stone.  Well, today I found out that I do not have a kidney stone…I have three.  One of the stones is in my kidney and two are in my bladder.  I have been in incredible pain – almost every night I wake up and writhe around trying to get relief.  Martha Jo has been great.  Besides my pain medication, one way that I have found to get relief is by lying down on the ground, face down, taking a medium sized rubber ball and placing it on my back, and then getting Martha Jo to take a book, place it on top of the ball, and press down into my kidneys as hard as she can.  For some reason, though it is painful to do this, the “acute” pain of the kidney stone is somehow disseminated into a wider area.  Martha Jo will roll the ball around, pressing down on the book, for about 40 minutes until the pain becomes manageable.

Sanctifying Kidney Stones

Last Wednesday night at Surfside PCA, our church enjoyed a very powerful communion service.  Many of our people, including me, were impacted by the careful contemplation of Christ’s work on the Cross.  The next morning one of our elders, shared his feelings with me in an e-mail.  He said, “Last night was a very special night.  I found myself waking up a lot last night, dwelling on the crucifixion.” Wow. What a powerful statement.

As Easter approached, I began thinking about what my elder had shared with me.  I found myself longing to know Christ in a deeper way.  I began to pray that Christ would help me to identify with him in his sufferings.  I prayed several heartfelt prayers on Thursday and Friday, asking Jesus to help me to appreciate how much he sacrificed in order to provide me with the gift of himself.  As I went to bed Friday night I decided that I would begin fasting on Saturday as one more way to reflect on Christ’s passion.  I also felt that this fast would prepare my heart to preach the 8am service on Easter morning at Surfside Pres.  On Saturday morning I began to work my plan.  I woke up early to pray and think on the scriptures.  That morning, I worked in the yard, then returned to the scriptures to read “He is not here; he has risen, just as he said.”  At noon, I worked in the garage, then sat down to read in Matthew, “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me.” Around 2pm, I went over to the church to shoot hoops by myself – praying and thinking.  I jogged around the church building several times.  Breathing hard and sweating, I sat down and considered Paul’s words from Philippians 3 – my central text for Easter morning’s sermon, “I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings“.

Does my Life Count?

Sometimes, in moments of melancholy, I wonder if my life has counted for anything. I am especially wondering that during this season of my life. I am forty-five years old. I have stayed in youth ministry way beyond my prime. I have no money to speak of. I am just now, after 20 years, finishing my master’s degree. I am not an ordained pastor. I rarely get to preach. I have never served communion. I have never baptized anyone. I am 25 pounds overweight. I have acid reflux. My present ministry as an Assistant Pastor often leaves me scratching my head, wondering what it is that I really do. To top it all off, I live in a van down by the river!

Not really. I’m not quite Matt Foley. But I’m working on it.

With this said, today I received a remarkably encouraging e-mail from Eric Griffin. I first met Eric several years ago while visiting Rock Hill High School (Rock Hill, SC). Eric was a freshman (or sophomore) who played soccer and sometimes kicked field goals for the football team. After a while, Eric and I formed a friendship and he became a key student leader in our Young Life ministry. Eric is now married to his beautiful wife, Wendy, and he works as a successful businessman with The Cason Group insurance agency.

Batman Unmasked – Revisited

To celebrate the much anticipated opening of “The Dark Knight”, the sequel to Batman Begins, I am revisiting my very first post on Sacrosanct Gospel – “Batman Unmasked”. This article was first posted on March 12, 2008. I’m keeping the comments from the origninal post because I felt there were some pretty good responses. I would love to have you add a few more. Please understand in the article that I really am not ‘slamming’ Batman. I am very sympathetic to my boyhood hero. I know him well. He is just like me. Well, not completely. He has considerably more money, he is better looking, and he is younger. Why is it that I age and he doesn’t?

I also want to make it widely known that my family and I already have our tickets to tonight’s midnight opening. We will be sitting with many other friends from our church, popcorn in hand, ready to be creeped out by the late Heath Ledger’s version of the Joker. Did I say Batman was my ‘boyhood’ hero? Oops I guess the Bat’s out of the Bag! Ha Ha hahahh haa (Insert Joker’s laugh here).

So without any further mildew, for your intellectual provocation, “Batman Unmasked”.

Speaking at Elevate – Logbook

Thursday, July 10, 2008

It’s 11:30pm on Thursday and we just arrived home about an hour ago. Man, am I tired. If you were at the conference and are checking into Sacrosanct Gospel for the first time – Welcome! I had a great time speaking at Elevate this year. You guys are so awesome! Justin and I would like to say thanks to Trey, Todd, Tommy, Nikki, Adam, Ande, Monty, Daniel, Tim, Wayne Kerr, the band, the staff and leaders and a big thank you to all the students who allowed us to joyfully proclaim the Gospel of Jesus to you all! I thought that last night was particularly impacting as the Spirit of Christ seemed to speak to all of us powerfully through Scala, U2, Coldplay, Lord of the Rings, and especially through the Word of God as we considered what it means to “shine like stars in the universe” (Phil 2:15). “Look how they shine…Look how they shine for You…”

The Tower of Terror

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The Melton Family went to Disney World to celebrate our 20th Wedding Anniversary. It was so fun. An absolutely perfect trip. One of the highlights for me was riding the Tower of Terror at Disney’s Hollywood Studios. MJ and I rode it almost 16 years ago and I’ve been waiting to get back to do it again. Check out our “Before” and “After” Tower of Terror video. Camp is especially funny. This was his first time on a ride of this caliber. He’s such a warrior! Click to see the video.

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